Random Ramblings # 1 - Holding A Grudge!!!

 

Last month, I was reading a Tamil novel "Aalam" (Poison) written by the famous writer Jeyamohan. Very interestingly written and quite fast-paced too. The story was all about holding a grudge and exacting revenge. Now! It is not the story that I am going to talk about but what it is around!

GRUDGE.... Such a strong word that lets out strongly negative vibes around a person. A grudge is a strong feeling of anger and dislike for a person. Holding one against a person means that the emotion remains such for a long time and has long-term consequences and backlashes. Holding grudges can put you into an anger hellhole and you will tend to wade deeper into the same rather than moving on. The negative emotions that it radiates end up eroding your character and persona gradually. On a mental front, along with what we just saw, it cultivates depression, negativity, and frustration. You suddenly feel drained of your energy which you will be dissipating away just by bad thoughts and simmering anger alone. Building up a grudge for a long time can emotionally drain you and push you deep into depression, mood swings, anxiety or in the worst cases self-harm. There can be physical effects like sleep reduction, heart health, headaches, stomach aches etc.

Now, Is this all worth it? Is there any point in holding a grudge against a person rather than just moving on? Acceptance is one trait that helps people fight grudges. Not being judgemental of others and placing yourself in the opposite party's shoes also helps. There are umpteen activities that we can focus our energy on rather than spending it as anger on people. It's high time people start to set meaningful and healthy boundaries and practice empathy. Once we practice that, we will end up realizing that what we carry in our minds does not mean anything and everything can be resolved peacefully and move on with our dear lives. In the novel that I mentioned at the start, revenge ends up destroying every character and finally a huge lose-lose situation. The writer strongly brings about the effects that a grudge can have on people. "To err is human, To forgive is divine". True that we are mere mortals and forgiveness and empathy does not come that quickly to us. But let's start practising it, live and let everyone around us live as well.