Random Ramblings #15 - Saying Goodbyes

 

Do goodbyes at workplaces really come from the heart?

There was a send-off at the office where I worked some years back. The person was quitting the company for better opportunities. After exchanging goodbyes, I came home and sat down pondering on the goodbyes that happen in the workplace.

Do the goodbyes that happen at the workplace always come from the heart? Most goodbyes in front of a team at the workplace often happen half-heartedly. It totally depends on the connections that a person builds at his/her workplace and the experiences they faced there. There can be genuine bonds that last for a longer time, but the goodbyes that I have seen have been just an eye wash many times. The toxic work environment in some places can be a major reason for such a reaction. The second one is the way people expect things to happen for them, and how it turns out, actually.

Goodbyes need not be a big party, parting gifts or name-sake speeches. A well-meaning handshake, a wholesome hug or a small heartfelt note of gratitude goes a long way with parties. What do you think? Have your goodbyes at workplaces been from your heart?

Random Ramblings # 14 - The Ritual of Reading

 

Do you like reading? Well, I do. That is one activity that I do all the time. Like any reader, I have my rituals and practices related to reading.

First things first. I prefer physical books. The touch, smell, ruffling of pages, and colourful book covers invoke an unspoken bliss. I am very particular about where I sit and read, and I position specific chairs in almost every room - a rocking chair near my bookshelf, a jhula in another, a round bamboo chair in yet another room. These are more than just simple chairs. They are my reading mates. Now, to the eatables that go with an excellent reading experience: a big cup of piping hot coffee/a big cup of buttermilk/lime juice with a bowl full of peanuts. While such a practice sounds silly, it is not for people like me. And timings. I wake up at 4 in the morning just to read.

Curling up with a book creates a safe space I can crawl into. This provides a support system for me and sets up a meditative space. Importantly, this provides a place to unload my stress levels. While turning towards a creative corner, these small things trigger some spark inside me. I get a sense of positivity to spend the rest of the day that a book spreads into me.

Reading is not just the consumption of words. It involves a ritual that provides a sense of familiarity and love to readers. For an introverted person like me, sitting on a rocking chair, reading books & sipping coffee is a regimen that I religiously follow to keep my life on track. This works! What about you? Do you have any such reading rituals?

Random Ramblings # 13 - The Secret Lives of Books

 

During this weekend, I was simply sitting in my favourite rocking chair, gazing at my bookshelves and talking to my books. It is a pastime that I find fulfilling. Suddenly, an interesting thought struck me. What if these books could talk?

What would the books on the shelves be talking about? What thoughts would have been running through their pages?
Here are some of my interesting thoughts.

1. They might be bragging about their genre. While horror books seek to thrill and scare people, mystery books might be happy to keep the readers on their toes. Self-help books might be proud to create an impact in their readers' lives, whereas cookbooks seek pleasure in bringing happiness to it's readers through food experiences. There might be genres that are jealous of the other ones.
2. There might be books complaining about how people treat them. While some take great care while handling books, some people do not got at respecting books. Such books might be complaining about the dog-ear marks, torn pages and moth-eaten parts.
3. Imagine a library at night. The books come to life and talk to each other through the ruffling of pages. They share the experiences they had throughout the day and the different types of people they encountered all day long.
4. I am a big fan of history books. I would love it if these books could talk to me and indulge me with a walk in time, taking me deep into the annals of how the civilizations shaped up.
5. The physical books on my shelf and my Kindle are holding a debate at night after I sleep. They might be pointing out each other's pros and cons. What would be the outcome? Are they going to fight it out or reach an understanding?
6. I would love it if the book could pull me into its pages and make me a character of the novel. It could be exciting, scary, funny, or sad. Imagine the multitude of emotions it can provide you with or indulge you in.

Books are constant companions, who, if properly taken care of, can be your friend throughout. Do you take time to converse with them? If they could speak, what would you be talking to them about?

Random Ramblings # 12 - The Dance of Shadows

 

As I sat by the window gazing into oblivion, I could see the sunshine spreading over the world around like waves. The trees and plants in the garden bask in the light, dancing to the gentle breeze. As the sun continued its journey, I noticed the shadows dancing in accordance with the path of the sun. That caught my attention. Shadows!

Have you noticed how the shadows move around you throughout the day? From early morning to noon till evening, we see shadows acquiring different textures and lengths. From soft and smooth shapes, they acquire sharper edges at noon. Towards evening, they seem to acquire a slight golden hue at the edges. Throughout the day, they seem to dance around everything from people to animals, towering buildings to small stones. The silhouettes and patterns that they create fascinate me every time I look at them.

Have you found shadows interesting? Shadows are largely neglected by people except while looking for one. But, I have always found shadows fleeting, mysterious and comforting. Shadows always remind me that nothing is permanent in life. As the shadows move, so does everything in our lives. Neither wait for our whims. The only thing light cannot touch is shadow, which means even in a lighted environment, there is bound to be darkness. Like how things can take a dip in our lives. Also, they do enlighten us with the fact that there are unseen truths. But if we see shadows as bad times in our life, realize that there is light around it, which ignites our hopes of good times being just around the corner. Shadows should not be seen as enemies but as equal partners to light, which causes a balance in them.

"Shadows are proof that light exists" – Socrates

As wise people say, there should be a balance in everything. The same applies to shadow and light. As Socrates beautifully points out, we need shadows to prove that light exists.

The next time you see a shadow, pause, ponder and listen. Even shadows may have stories to tell.

Random Ramblings # 11 - Nature Song

 

            As I pondered what to write for the day, the rain started coming down heavily. A sudden calmness sinks in. Why don't I write about rain itself?

            Rain instils a serene feeling inside me every time. The downpour, the plants and trees getting their actual colour, the puddles, little streams being formed, and the smell of soil all invoke a sense of calmness.

            The first thing that strikes me when I hear rain is how the sound of rain can drown most of the other sounds around us. I guess this is why that sound is like therapy. Some people I know are not comfortable with the sound of heavy rain. But for me, the heavier the rain, the louder the sound, which in turn blocks every other sound, except perhaps the thunder. I read somewhere that there are different kinds of noises, like white, pink, brown, etc. The sound of rain is a pink noise, and it is considered more pleasant and softer compared to the white noise (the radio static sound is a white noise). This might be the reason why rain is so much associated with sleep and creativity.

            Have you tried to do something creative during the rain? If you have not, do try. For me, the sound is therapeutic and soothes my mind, which helps me to do something creative like write or draw. For a bookworm like me, the rain and the drop in temperature do wonders. The sound provides an immersive effect and elevates the reading experience.

            In this fast-paced world, I am not sure how many of us are taking the time to listen to this beautiful symphony of nature. But ironically, people listen to rain in sleep and meditation apps. Rain is one of the greatest gifts of nature. Listening to nature sing through the rain reminds us of the simplicity of life. We should learn to appreciate the same. All across the world, films and cultures adore rain.

            You might be office, house, in college, travelling or working. But whenever you cross your path with rain, take a pause, listen to the pitter-patter with your ears and heart. It can be a lullaby, a song or a story to you. Take a deep breath and experience the tranquillity before carrying on. After all, life is so simple.

"Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby." - Langston Hughes

Have you taken time to listen to the rain song?

Random Ramblings # 10 - Talking to oneself

 

Do you talk to yourself? You heard it right! Do you?

I do often! Being a loner, I have all the time in the world to talk to myself. Some people find me talking out loud to myself and look at me like a crazy fool. I admit that self-talk can be bad at times. BUT... It is more suitable for you too. You can take my word on that. Based on what you talk to yourself.

I have been a pessimist all my life. So, my self-talk involves a lot of negative things. Ever heard the saying 'You are defined by your thoughts'? True! Negative self-thoughts always pull us back on our path and are like quicksand that can pull you down. This leads to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. But there are times when I say something positive to myself. Whatever I think starts with "I am not good enough", "I am worthless", "I am destined to fail", and "I do not deserve to live".

Then I heard the word manifestation, which involves positive thoughts, goal visualization, affirmations and actions. Whenever you start manifesting positively, the world around you works towards uplifting you. I started with positive self-talk, which started building a certain confidence in me. The positive self-talk started to cultivate some amount of confidence, resilience and success. This, in turn, created a good impact, inspiring me to attain some of my goals.

As I mentioned earlier, being a pessimist, maintaining a positive outlook and positive self-talk is tough for me. Whenever I try to take a step forward, it starts to pull me two steps back. But small steps lead to big changes. Hopefully, I can positively look at life.

Likewise, everyone needs to follow self-talk positively. You should not make room for negative self-talk. This is unavoidable, but you can always change your perspective and try to convert the negative talk into a positive way. Affirmations, journaling, and mindfulness can help induce a positive approach in you.

Do you talk to yourself? How has self-talk changed you?

Random Ramblings # 9 - Handling Excuses!

 

A few days back, as I was walking down the road, my daughter pointed me towards a quote displayed in a gym ad - "You should be bigger than your excuses".

What an apt quote for a gym! Going to the gym is one of the things we often include in our resolutions each year, but then we end up making excuses to drop it from the resolution, only to bring it back again next year.

As I walked on, this quote stuck in my mind. This one is not only for the gym, but also for our lives. We, as humans, take refuge behind excuses the majority of the time. Whether it is while making a big decision, taking a new step in life, learning a new thing or being in a stage where we are questioning. Many of us seek out excuses to easily wriggle ourselves out of such situations. Being in the safe zone has become ingrained in our characters so much that we tend to sway towards making excuses unintentionally sometimes.

To deal with this problem, we need to change our perspective. Rather than looking for a reason to dissuade ourselves, we need to start asking, "What can I do to better myself in such situations?"

Excuses branch into procrastination, laziness, self-doubt, and comfort zones. Axing excuses at the root can destroy all these other branches. Next time you want to make excuses, ask yourself, "Am I going to let it stop me?"

How do you handle excuses?

Random Ramblings # 8 - Are we destined to fail?

 

                    When I was pondering over what to write, my little girl suggested this quote: "No one is destined to fail" 😊

As humans, we encounter failures more often. Even the most successful people have had to taste failure at some point in time. Many people stay away or step back when they face failure. Many see failure as a dead end or warning that nature may be indicating. This might be correct in a few instances.

In reality, these failures might be the way nature prepares us to face the odds and conquer the world around us. Failure should be considered as the final fate. Instead, it should be a plank that helps us step on and achieve what we need.
However, each human is unique. They may have different levels of struggles and systemic barriers that may need different levels of effort to break down.

Failure is never an end to anything. See it as a learning experience to improve ourselves. With such a mindset, you can beat self-doubt, laziness and the tendency to postpone things, thereby placing you on the right track to victory.

 There is a Vadivelu dialogue in a Tamil movie - "Enakku End Card ae illa da". Translated as 'I do not have an end card' that metaphorically implies you do not have an end no matter what. Embrace failure, learn from it, beat the odds and carry on ahead in your life journey.

How do you see failure?

Random Ramblings # 7 - Do you live or Just Exist?

 

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” - Oscar Wilde.

A simple quote. But, please look at the level at which this tugs at your heart. At least in my case, it does. Many people we see around us are living their lives. But deep down most of them are merely existing.

Existing Life means going on auto gear mode. Life goes on at a mundane pace. People start avoiding challenges and risks, fall into a routine and eventually life becomes sluggish and robotic. While setting a routine for life is great, the one that is discussed here slows you down. Playing it safe and laziness becomes a routine that in turn makes our life just an existence. In the last article, I mentioned procrastination which is a big factor in making an existential life. Most of us are not living the life or undertaking a profession we had dreamed of. This is the first step that makes us take a back step. Once this latches on to our mind, it becomes a leech sucking all the life force within us. Post this, we start getting lazy and comfortably blame everything on our unfulfilled dreams. To top all this, all the appliances that are supposed to make our lives easier are making us too comfortable.

However, we can move out of this habitual life and make it more effective.

** Realize that life is not just a myriad of dreams.
** Be aware of yourself. Know what you want, and work towards it.
** Be aware of your strengths and weaknesses.
** Start drifting out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself.
** Prioritize life over comfort.
** Indulge in hobbies that keep you engaged and refreshed.

Nowadays, life has become so fast. Yet when we dig deep, we see people falling into a routine that burns them out or slows them down. Breaking free and resetting it might not be as easy as it seems. Take it slow and steady and tune your life back to the energetic way it was.

Random Ramblings # 6 - Do you have time to spare?

              

Hello, I am back with a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson this time - “Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their value will never be known. Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life.”

Great quote, right! No one seems to have spare moments now. Whenever I ask some people if they are free, they project themselves as busy. But are we really that held up? Just think about the time many of us spend swiping through reels and shorts. Those are spare moments that can be used. Some people do not even consider that as spare time as this has become more of a habit to them. Not all, but a significant lot.

Back to the quote! It talks about time management and making use of the opportunities. Time is precious and cannot be replenished. We have different duties and tasks every day. But we all do have idle time, which we might not realize. Proper utilization of such a time to cultivate a new hobby or explore new things brings much-needed positivity into our lives. They might add value to your professional life or personal life. Importantly, such useful distractions can light up our otherwise mundane lives.

Random Ramblings # 5 - How you perceive things?!

 

"உண்மை என்ற ஒன்று இருக்கிறதா? நம்முடைய பார்வை மட்டுமே உண்மை."
(Is there something called truth? Our perspective alone is the truth.)   - Vishnupuram by Jeyamohan

An interesting question is what I thought while reading it. Perspective is a strange but strong word. It is the very word that shows us in the eyes of others and vice versa. Digging deep into the quote, I came across a term - subjective reality.

The truth that we see around us comes from our experience, emotions and biases. It is about how we see things.

Truth is not absolute. It is how a person or a group of persons see it. Take whatever news is running around, not all people see it the same way. Even though it is a crime, some people start shaming the victims (if only he did that way/if only she dressed that way). Oh! Come on now, enough with it. Each person understands the world differently from another person. My best friend and I have a lot of things in common. People tell us we think the same way. But if you ask me, that is just one side of the coin. We have completely polarising opinions on various matters of interest. Also, it is no wonder that humans are creatures of emotions. And these emotions have a deep-rooted impact on how we see/perceive things. Emotions cloud the way we perceive to some extent.

Perspectiveness is an important trait that we must possess. It is not just seeing things from our eyes in a manner favourable to us. It is how we are going to put ourselves in another person's shoes and see the world from their eyes. This broader perspective opens our eyes to a bigger and realistic truth.

Random Ramblings # 4 - Are you adaptable?!

           

Change is inevitable. Change is the only thing that never changes. We heard these quotes for a long time, and they have so much truth and meaning. We experience the same in our daily lives. We see small or big changes in our families, workplaces, roads, vehicles, routes, and even the climate. Nowadays, the happenings in our lives are as unpredictable as the climate.

Now, a question? What is essential in a person who goes through this cycle of change? Adaptability!!!
Adaptability is a character that enables a person to ready himself/herself to suit the different conditions of change. This is one of the most important qualities that a person must possess to survive in the ever-changing world.
During the 15 years of my IT life, I have encountered many changes, including changes in locations, food, marital status, and parenthood.

Adapting oneself to changes helps us to fit into new situations and environments. Change brings something new and disposes of something old. It helps us to choose what is needed and what is not to run things. Being adaptable helps you to land on two feet and facilitate the transition more smoothly. More importantly; being adaptable does a great extent to improve mental health and willpower. We feel empowered to handle situations and that too with a calm and clear mind.

Was I adaptable? Not initially! Am I fully adept in being adaptable now? Well! Not yet. But I tried, am trying and will try. Being an introverted and socially awkward person; adapting to changes can cause panic attacks big time. But, trying is not going to hurt anyone. I am still trying and that try does make me adaptable to some level if not a 100% perfect one. Changes are happening all around you, and it is high time you start adapting if you still have not. If you find difficulty, just do what we do in all other situations - Try, Baby Steps can take you miles at some point in time!

“Adaptability is not imitation. It means the power of resistance and assimilation.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Random Ramblings # 3 - Going Solo

                

                    Travel! Everyone loves to travel. Most people travel with family or friends to enjoy the place and overall wholesome experience.

               Travelling gives us a chance to explore and promotes joy. But there is a general misconception about travels taken alone. That's right Solitary Travel. The general perception of solitary travel is the safety concerns and fear of loneliness. There is a social stigma associated with this as well. Many people start judging you and talk negativity into you. There is also social pressure where people talk into convincing you to be a part of a group. Plus you will have to make all the decisions related to travel, food, activities etc. In one way it might be true. Travelling in a group is a safer option than going solo.

                But is solo travel that bad? Not at all. Travelling solo does have its benefits. First and foremost, we can decide where to go, what to visit, what to do, where to eat and sleep and how to travel. Travelling in a journey curbs your choices to some extent. The choices are always the choices of the majority. I am an introverted guy who likes to take it slow visiting places of historical value, libraries, or even walking down the roads or commuting locally rather than jumping into a pool or beach or being an adrenaline junkie. When on a trip, my choices get buried under the decisions made by the majority. Travelling solo allows me to enjoy my preferences and experience the place in my laid-back vibe. Along with independence, it helps us cultivate the art of self-reliance, decision making and proper planning. Planning self-reliance and decision-making can be daunting initially. After all, we are social beings, right? But once you get the hang of it, this can be an adventure by itself. Overcoming anxieties and having an open mind can be a route to self-discovery. Your solo travels can take you to different places of stay like hostels, tour groups, different cuisines, and local events allowing you to connect with new people and indulge in their cultures. Proper planning, Cost-effectiveness, Checking for safer options, and self-preparation for this sort of journey are some things that you can consider before setting out on such trips.

                  Even though you like travelling with others, do take small solitary trips. It is an excellent way to see who you are and you will start looking at the world from a different angle. Solo Travel is about the joy of being independent, not lonely. Liberate yourself, overcome challenges, meet people, indulge in new cuisines and cultures, and be self-reliant.

"It's not the destination, it's the journey" - Ralph Waldo Emerson